A medical emergency

[fadingworld]

A deep navy cloak hides his features and the more ornate tunic the courtesan usually wears to greet his clients. Mal hunches his shoulders and slides through the crowds hoping to avoid notice. He keeps his head down until he reaches the home of the doctor and wraps smartly on the door. "Open up," he calls in a voice that expects to be listened to.

How much time did he have? He could not have a client bleeding out. Not this one. Not one who had come to him for help, to be treated privately.

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[fadingworld]

Mal hugs him back, he's smiling away. "I..." He looks up. "I just wanted you to have something to remember meeting me." It seems important. Maybe centuries later, Regis might look back at the book, and hopefully, it will make him smile.

[mandragoraspiritus]

For being a man of so many words, there are times when Regis is at a loss for them. This is such a time. In the end he clears his throat, slipping the book into his satchel.

"So then. How was your morning?"

[fadingworld]

"Entertaining," Mal says, "I've spent the day talking and listening to people, learning a little more about life in the city. It was interesting. There is so much going on.

How was the pregnant girl?"

[mandragoraspiritus]

"Rather miserable, I fear," Regis says as he returns to getting food to the table. A simple meal of soup, bread and cheese is his plan. "Some women will carry a pregnancy without pain or issue. She is not one of those women. By now she must stay in bed as much as possible."

[fadingworld]

"Oh that must be awful," Mal says with sympathy. "I remember when one of the girls was kept to bed for three weeks. She was going mad. Is it possible to ease her discomfort any?"

[mandragoraspiritus]

"I have some few things I dare use, to at least help her sleep somewhat. But in the end, she has to endure. I hope for her sake that the baby comes early."

He carries on with his cooking, a bit curious to see if Mal will set the table without prompting.

"With that in mind, I should pack up a bag with supplies specifically with her in mind."

[fadingworld]

"If you tell me what you want, can I try and prepare it for you? You will have time to fix it if I don't put it in right." He does sit there for another minute before he begins to feel restless. Hesitantly he gets up to start poking around for what had been on the table before.

"Will it damage the baby if it comes early?"

[mandragoraspiritus]

"We can look into preparing the supplies, certainly." He approves of Mal's willingness to learn.

"It can damage the baby if it comes too soon, yes, but so can the mother's stress damage it. By now it is near enough that it should be fine if the baby were to come, tough it would be good if it delayed another couple of weeks."

[fadingworld]

The table is set, once Mal has what he needs, he certainly knows how to set a table. He's done that for his clients before. He settles back into the seat and cocks his head.

"How do you choose?" he asks quietly, "If it comes down to the baby's life or the mothers?"

[mandragoraspiritus]

That is a serious topic indeed, one Regis wants to give his full attention. He leaved the pot of soup puttering on the stove, turning to face Mal.

"Though many a mother would hate me for such a choice, I would save the mother if such a choice became unavoidable. A motherless infant will have a very hard start in life and will not always be cared for as it should. A mother who has lost a child will grieve, but to risk sounding crass, in time there might be other children to fill her heart."

[fadingworld]

Mal looks thoughtful, "That was what I would have thought. It sounds awful laid out so barely. But it is true." There would be more than one awful decision to make with this choice of job.

"You have been alive for so long. Are you having to make the decision less than you did one hundred years ago?"

[mandragoraspiritus]

He shakes his head somewhat sadly. "No. There have been too many recent wars, leaving many people in poorer conditions. Especially so in the countryside it is in the countryside I have spent most of my time. City life makes it so much harder to avoid detection as a vampire. No, childbirth sadly remains an all too common cause of death for both mother and child."

[fadingworld]

I would like to fix that, Mal thinks. There is a little-determined set to his chin. No life should be wasted if possible. "It's unfair," he says. "I know nothing can be perfect. That everyone will have struggles and sorrow, but there are things that can be fixed!"

[mandragoraspiritus]

"They can and it shoudl be our responsibility to strive for that. However..." He sits down at teh table opposite of Mal, resting his forearms on the surface, his fingers lightly laced together. The soup can putter along a while longer.

"You will lose patients, Mal. If you take this road then there will be people who will die no matter how hard you try to save them. That is something you will need to be able to live with."

[fadingworld]

Mal looks sad for a moment. "But...if more than a handful of people die the same way....shouldn't you be mad? Shouldn't it be possible to improve things after you've seen it a few times?"

[mandragoraspiritus]

"You might think so but that isn't always the case. It is rarely the case. An injury, yes, maybe. And perhaps a handful might be enough to recognize a sickness, but knowing what it is isn't enough to know how to treat it. Sometimes an illness can strike so hard and fast you might not have the time to even begin to figure out the cause but rather only to treat the symptoms."

He looks seriously at Mal but not unkindly. "But yes, of course I am mad when such things happen. I might curse the very sky itself, for all the good it does me. But fact of the matter is that it does still happen. There might even be times when I know that I am doing everything right but I lose the patient anyway."

[fadingworld]

Mal looks down at the table. "It's stupid. We should be able to help them all," he mutters. "If I can help clients with their problems why can't I save everyone."

He looks up sadly. "I don't want to kill people."

[mandragoraspiritus]

"People may die but you are not the one to kill them. Losing a patient does not make you a murderer." The difference is so huge it should not need saying, and yet it does.

"And you can't save everyone because you are not a God, and problems of the mind are not problems of the body, serious as they can be sometimes. Mal, I have practiced medicine for two whole centuries by now and even I cannot save everyone."

[fadingworld]

Mal blows out a sigh, he is going to try to save everyone. "I understand." It doesn't mean that he has to like it. Or accept it. "Is this the hardest part of the job, letting people die?"

[mandragoraspiritus]

"Again, Mal, it isn't letting anyone die. It is them dying despite all we do to help." Mal has to learn that difference, or he won't be able to handle it. Still, no matter the first one will be difficult. "But, yes, it is the hardest part. Without a doubt."

[fadingworld]

Mal looks stubborn. "I only want to see them die of old age. I have to make a difference." He sighs. "Do you know anyone who has never lost a patient?"

[mandragoraspiritus]

"You will make a difference. But that isn't the same as saving everyone and losing no-one. Again, Mal, you are not a God." He sighs, shaking his head. "No, I do not know anyone who has never lost a patient. I do not thing any such doctor exists."

[fadingworld]

Mal glares at the table. "It isn't fair!" he exclaims with his shoulders hunched. "It just isn't..." He clenches his fists at his side. "I don't want to kill people."

[mandragoraspiritus]

"Mal..." Regis rises from his seat and goes around the table. Going down to one knee he resolutely takes Mal's head between his hands, turning his face towards him to force him to look at him.

"If you become a man of healing and set out there to help people, then the absolute majority of the people you help will be aided by you and go on to live their lives, perhaps because you help them. You will save far more than you lose. Even those you do lose will not have died at your hands. Trust me that I know the difference and you must understand it. If you don't then this profession will kill you."

[fadingworld]

Mal leans into those clever fingers. It might kill him....but it would be worth it. "Being a courtesan was almost easier," he whispers. "I could take their pain away for awhile. I just...want to help."